Suspended In A Compromise
by telayla
Summary: "After years of forced hatred for each other, it had finally overflowed, leaving them with something they were unfamiliar with." H/D. SLASH. Rated M for language.


This...this might be awful. It took forever, so it might be inconsistent. Also, the kind of fic I was going for changed as I went on, so. :/ It was gonna be this awesome hate/love thing, but, knowing me, it...kind of turned into a mush fest at the end. Sorry about that. :D

* * *

_And I've lost who I am_  
_And I can't understand_  
_Why my heart is so broken_  
_Rejecting your love_  
_Without love gone wrong_  
_Lifeless words carry on_  
_But I know, all I know_  
_Is that the end's beginning_

_Who I am from the start  
Take me home to my heart  
Let me go and I will run  
I will not be silent_

* * *

They'd always been rivals. From the first moment, from that first, rejected handshake, until this moment, they had had to hate each other. It was supposed to be instinctual; a natural loathing for someone born to the opposite side of this godforsaken war. And so Draco couldn't stand Harry, not a single thing about him. He couldn't stand the boy's insufferable hero complex, he couldn't stand the way he laughed at the stupidest things, and he couldn't stand the way he always treated Draco like something of another species. Harry, for his part, particularly despised the thick layer of false smugness Draco wore like a mask, and the fact that, no matter how often he denied it, Draco was smarter than he was, in the academic sense, at least.

And somehow, over six years of hostility and violence, they had ended up here. After a less than ideal encounter in an unusually vacant corner in the library, and several well-said insults, something had snapped between them. After years of forced hatred for each other, it had finally overflowed, leaving them with something they were unfamiliar with. Naturally, neither would ever admit to breaking first, but it didn't matter anyway. Right now, all that mattered was the way the skin of Draco's neck gave way under Harry's mouth, the force with which Harry was holding Draco up against the wall, and the knowledge that whatever was happening, neither would leave unmarked. The air was raw from years of hurt and frustration.

Draco's breathing grew harsh when Harry's teeth scraped over the curve of his collarbone, exposed by several undone buttons. He refused to make any noise, even when the other boy splayed a hand on his waist, slowly moving upward. That Potter boy was even more of an idiot than he had already assumed if he thought he was the one in control here. Draco made sure that he knew this by sliding a leg in between Harry's, and pressing upward. Harry's head snapped up instantly, locking gazes with Draco.

Draco's eyes slid down to Harry's lips, staring unabashedly at them. Looking back up, he twisted a hand in the hair at the back of Harry's head, yanking him forward so that their mouths met in a forceful collision of teeth and lips. Draco drew the lower one into his mouth, biting hard enough to hurt slightly, but not to bleed. As soon as he released it, Harry was there again, pressing him back further and somehow managing to work his tongue into the other boy's mouth.

Harry dropped his hands to Draco's hips, pulling them roughly against his own. In retaliation, Draco buried his fingers further into Harry's dark hair, and tugged, hard. Harry ripped his mouth away from Draco's, but didn't move away. "That hurts, you ass." He breathed, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, does it now?" Draco taunted. "Then do something about it, Potter."

So he did.

* * *

It had to stop sometime, Harry supposed. It was dangerous, but maybe that's why it was so addictive. To literally sleep with one's enemy was thrilling, the constant threat of betrayal lingering at the back of the mind. It was less thrilling, however, to dodge flying objects that were aimed directly at his head.

"I fucking hate you!" Draco screamed at Harry. "I just can't stand you, you insufferable prick!"

Draco's shirt had already been cast somewhere around the room. Shirts were always the first thing to go, because Harry always wanted to make sure he left enough marks on Draco's torso that would last until the next time. Harry's shirt and pants were only unbuttoned at this point, courtesy of the furious blond across the room, who was currently reaching for an ink bottle to throw at him.

The bottle smashed into the wall, leaving a growing black stain. Harry didn't say anything, and instead, without fully understanding why, took a step towards Draco.

"Didn't you hear me? I said I hate you! Get the hell away from me!"

"If you hate me so much, then why do you keep coming back?" Harry shot back at him. Draco's hand slipped from another would-be projectile –a heavy paperweight—and stared. After a moment, his eyes narrowed, but his attempt to remain enraged was quickly proving unsuccessful.

"You're such an idiot. Fuck off, Potter." He said, in strained anger.

Harry was across the room in a moment. He grabbed for Draco's wrists, pulling them away from Draco's body and gripping them tightly. "Then why?" He said, meeting Draco's silver stare evenly. "If you hate me, if I'm an idiot, why? Why the hell do you always come back?"

Draco's gaze wavered, and he exhaled sharply. "Do you honestly think I have any idea? You are an idiot."

Harry, in a rare, spontaneous moment of affection, pressed their foreheads together, still not looking away. "Then tell me to leave. Looking at me this time."

Draco glared, but didn't respond for a long moment.

"This…this is the last time."

* * *

"Get away from me." Draco said lowly, raising his eyes to stare levelly at Harry, who, by some miracle, managed to stop himself from recoiling in shock. "Unless there is something you need, Potter," Draco said, "Leave me alone."

"Maybe I do have something I need." Harry regained his composure and responded.

Draco faltered, and the calm look on his face slipped, just a bit. "Don't waste my time."

People near them were starting to look now. "I have to talk to you." Harry refused to look at anyone other than the boy in front of him.

"Didn't I just tell you not to waste my time?"Draco's lip curled.

"Quit wasting mine." Harry snapped back. Without waiting for a response, he grabbed one of Draco's wrists roughly, dragging him to a more private location and ignoring anyone calling either of their names.

"Let…let go of me!" Draco finally managed to yank his arm back. "This had better bloody be good, Potter, or I swear…" Draco trailed off at the incredulous look on Harry's face. "What now?"

"I really…you're a piece of work, you know that?" Harry said, green eyes shiny with sudden rage. "Six years of your arrogant bullshit, then…whatever the hell that was happens, and now this?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "So you just want to get off, is that it? Well, do it yourself." He stepped closer, seething, as Harry tried to get a word in edgewise. "I told you, that was the last time. It was a mistake in the first place." His anger seemed to dull. "Don't ever talk to me again."

* * *

Draco didn't wake violently, like Harry expected him to. He simply drifted into awareness, his eyes sliding open, already clear and alert while his head rested on Harry's lap. He watched Harry, and Harry watched him back. After two years apart, he was trying to take in as much of Draco as he could. During that time, all he had wanted was to hold Draco tightly and never let go, to tell him all the things he hadn't been able to the day Draco told him to leave for good. But when he had found Draco cast aside, along with many others who had failed to complete whatever insane task Voldemort had set them to, he hadn't seen any other option than to bandage his physical injuries and hide him away somewhere safe until it was all over. So he held himself back a while longer.

"Why?" Draco asked, finally. His head was in the man's lap, so his pride was hardly an issue. "Why did you help me?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't have?" Harry asked back. "It's…done now, you know."

Harry himself had only just woken up today, to find Ron and Hermione fretting over him. Apparently, after his confrontation with Voldemort, he had faded in and out of consciousness for nearly a week. Draco, however, had been out of the world for nearly two.

Draco didn't respond, and Harry didn't look away. "I ended it."

"I figured as much." Draco said.

Harry sighed. "What do we do now?"

Draco, once again, fell silent, staring up.

Harry, his expression remaining neutral, slowly leaned over and pulled Draco's upper body into his embrace. It was no easy feat, considering the awkward angle, but neither could bring himself to mind much. In fact, Draco was glad for it, because with Harry's face pressed against his neck, He couldn't see the tears welling in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too."

Draco tried to blink back the tears when Harry moved and raised his head. Harry smiled softly, and shifted slightly to press his lips to Draco's. When the kiss ended, Harry's smile had grown into a relieved grin, barely containing his happiness at being able to finally smile freely around Draco. "You do realize that you're never getting rid of me now, right?"

In response, Draco simply pulled Harry's mouth back down to his.

* * *

_All this time spent in vain  
Wasted years, wasted gain  
All is lost, hope remains  
And this war's not over  
There's a light, there's the sun  
Taking all the shattered ones  
To the place we belong  
And his love will conquer all_

_Yesterday I died  
Tomorrow's bleeding  
Fall into your sunlight_

-Shattered, by Trading Yesterday

* * *

DEAR GOD, THIS TOOK LIKE, HOURS. -dies-

If you've been reading my stuff for a while, you might remember a fanfic I deleted some time ago. It was this horrible horrible songfic to Shatter by OAR. When I say horrible, I mean that it was just awful. Plot? Nonexistent. Just Draco angsting over his fail relationship with Harry. Writing? IT WAS LIKE, TWO SENTENCES PER CHUNK OF SONG. IT LOOK GOOD IN MICROSOFT WORD, BUT NOT ON .

Anyway, I like this Shattered song better. It is by Trading Yesterday and if you haven't heard it you are missing out. It is beautiful. :D Title comes from the song too, what did you expect. :'D

Again, sorry if this sucked! OTL I'll try and update What If soon! D:


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